All Stirred Up!

I have been absent for a little over a week - for good reason. We were in Chicago on our annual family vacation. The timing couldn’t have been better for this, as I have not had an infusion since July 6th. Aside from occasional neuropathy I have been feeling great, and eating well. This was especially beneficial in Chicago, as we do a LOT of walking each day, burning many calories. My favorite stop in Chicago is Juice Rx. If they ever decide to franchise, I selfishly hope and pray they come to Minnesota, and somewhere near me. They craft fresh juices, superfood smoothies, smoothie bowls, and superfood toast. YUM! I realize this doesn’t sound delicious to everybody, but honestly if you give it a try you may just surprise yourself! :)

A quick update on my status and coming events, then I’m diving into the topic at hand:

I will have surgery (liver resection) on August 10th, and a 4-6 week recovery to follow. I will spend a couple of days in the hospital, and fully expect everything to go well so I can come home sooner than later. The surgery will be partially open, partially laparoscopic. My colon resection was the same, so this surgeon said he would try to use the same incision sites this time as well (not that it matters at all to me). He also said he would remove my gall bladder in the process because it is blocking the section of liver he will be removing.

I am scheduled to begin chemotherapy again approximately four weeks post surgery. Of all the things, this is what I am least excited about. I have 7 sessions remaining, and should complete the course in the beginning of December. This will be a welcome Christmas Gift.

The results from my thyroid biopsy came back the same way they did the first time. Unspecified and Atypia cell growth. The recommended next step is another biopsy in 4-6 weeks. I have an appointment on October 5th with an endocrinologist to discuss these results and possible next steps. I’m tired of having the biopsy’s and thankful they don’t come back showing cancer, but I must add that I’m frustrated that we don’t have any information. I’m praying that the endocrinologist I meet with will guide me in the right direction, given all of the information we currently have.

Let’s discuss this stirring!

A cloud of chaos looms around us and it feels extremely heavy. We are all aware that the world in general is in a state of chaos and between political and other social matters there is a great deal of discord and unrest. That is not what I am referring to, however. We have learned of multiple tragedies within our family / friend community this week and it has become obvious that the enemy is at large! He is not just lurking in undisclosed places, but he is present and doing everything he can to disrupt all that is good.

It feels personal when so many things hit close to home all at the same time but I came to the realization that this happens when we are connected to SO MANY people. I am grateful for our community, our circle of close friends who feel like family, and our circle of acquaintances who care for us even if they don’t know us well yet. We were created for community, not solitude. We are here to be a blessing to others but we cannot do that if we are isolated from the very people God intended us to do life with. I don’t know how I got down this rabbit hole but I just want to add that withdrawing from the community who supports you, and who you can be your self with is only going to create hardship in this life. Hold on to your people and let God bless you as you together walk through the joys and hardships life brings.

I am reminded through challenges that God is moving. These are the times we can pause for a moment, feel ALL OF THE EMOTIONS, and then hand it over to God. This is not really our battle to fight. I am passionate about allowing ourselves to feel, and then heal. Sitting in brokenness will only bring more anger and sadness, but intentionally climbing out of despair leads to Peace. A peace that truly pass all understanding. Hope! A hope that never fails. And Joy! Joy that is fresh and new every morning!!

As I was processing all sorts of emotions that hit me today, this song came on the radio. The lyrics go like this:

I count on one thing
The same God that never fails
Will not fail me now
You won't fail me now
In the waiting
The same God who's never late
Is working all things out
You're working all things out

Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley
Yes I will, bless Your name
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy
All my days, oh yes I will

And I choose to praise
To glorify, glorify
The Name of all names
That nothing can stand against!!

I have found it to be true over and over again that when I feel sad, discouraged, defeated, or (insert your emotion here), turning on uplifting worship music truly helps. I am able to take my eyes off of my own thoughts, feeling, and emotions, and allow God to do what He does best. Love. Heal. Restore. I know there is even science behind music therapy but science aside, I am living proof of this method working. I may not have the right words to bring healing to the areas in life that you personally need, but I know there is a song out there that can do exactly that!

I will continue to grieve with those who grieve, ache with those whose hearts are broken, love on those who hurt, and lend a sympathetic ear to those in need. Then, I will lay it at the foot of the cross and allow God to move.

May my words bring encouragement to your life…