Grateful, Thankful, Blessed!

And… I’m HOME!

It was a typical Black Friday morning. The Schwarz household got showered and ready for the day, made some coffee, grabbed our coats, and headed out the door. First stop, Menards! We made our way through the store with ease and found most of the things on our list. To our surprise the checkout lines were very short, which made the experience even more enjoyable. Next stop, Target. I started feeling like I had an upset stomach while we were shopping and when we arrived at Target it was getting a bit more uncomfortable. I was a little perplexed because my diet doesn’t vary, so thinking I ate something bad was not a consideration. Darek and the kids were looking at games and toys, and I let them know I was not feeling well and I would wait for them in the car. I just needed to sit down and see if this discomfort would pass. I got to the car and took a Zofran to help with the nausea I started feeling.

I was coming off of my chemo infusion week, so I thought maybe this was all related.

Darek and the kids made it out to the car about 10 minutes later and we decided to head back home so I could work on feeling better. I was just fine with being dropped off so they could continue a fun day of shopping. The kids brought their money along in hopes that they might find something fun to purchase, but we never made it to the store they were waiting for. Darek decided to stay home with me as I took a nice hot bath in hopes it would relieve the stomach pain. I had some momentary relief so I decided to head downstairs to watch a movie with the kids. Near the end of the movie I was feeling even worse and decided to take another hot bath, in hopes it would be the final cure. You can probably guess, there was no relief. I decided I should just lay down with a hot water bottle. As I lay there resting for a few minutes, I decided it would be best to call my Oncology clinic and seek their advice.

I was advised to go to the Emergency Room for evaluation.

Darek called his sister and asked if she could come pick the kids up. She is always so generous to help us out and she was here in a flash.

This is where things get interesting…

We checked in to the ER and the waiting area was nearly full! I ended up finding an open bench to curl up on. I could not find a single comfortable position, but for some reason resorted to the fetal position. I lay on that bench in the worst imaginable pain, praying it would leave at any point. Darek did everything he could do to bring me comfort, but nothing helped. Not even his jokes, believe it or not! He rubbed my back each time I wretched into the little baggies they had, and calmly asked the registration people for a new one. We waited for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably a couple of hours. Finally, my name was called to the first phase of triage. I tried so hard to be kind to the nurse and answer her questions. (I’m not entirely sure if I was.) She started an IV and gave me some Morphine in hopes that the pain would subside. I was also hopeful! The pain did not subside.

I was taken to the Emergency CT scan room almost immediately, and thankfully had help from the techs getting on and off of the table. Laying with my arms above my head and my legs outstretched, holding as still as possible while taking a deep breath was incredibly difficult. At that point I was shaking from the intense pain. The techs graciously lifted me off of the table with the sheet I was laying on, and helped me back into a wheelchair. I was wheeled back to the lobby to wait for a triage room to open up. Hooray! I was thinking we were getting somewhere, but minutes turned into hours as I moaned and cried out in pain in the ER lobby. (Definitely embarrassing for me, but probably more for Darek.) The nurse I initially met came out to give me a dose of another pain medication, but that one did not work either. It was the only thing they could do for me and unfortunately it wasn’t enough. We had been waiting approximately 4 hours (from time of arrival) before a triage room actually opened up.

While this is true, it is not always easy.

I pleaded with God to take my pain away, even if it was just for a moment. I know His plans are always for good, but I just do not understand the process.

As soon as we reached the triage room the ER doctor told us that he had already called the surgeon. I remember receiving a dose of some other medication, and that is the last thing I remember until I woke up in a hospital room with a tube in my nose. WHAT? JUST? HAPPENED?

Apparently we had waited another two hours before the surgeon arrived to the triage room. I cannot even imagine what was going through Darek’s mind this entire time. They finally carted me off to surgery, and around 1:30 AM I was wheeled into recovery.

We were told that there was a band of scar tissue from a previous surgery that caused my small intestine to become inflamed. That tissue then died, which is what caused the excruciating pain in my abdomen. (If you have ever been pregnant, imagine the worst contraction you have ever had, with no relief. That is it best way I can describe it.) The surgeon removed 4 feet of my small intestine and cleaned everything up. She said that everything else looked good and that this was a fluke thing. She was incredibly kind and compassionate. I know that God placed her there for me. She left me with the gift of 17 staples up my abdomen and a beautiful new scar. The kids think it is great because now they can sing the Veggie Tales Belly Button song, and it rings true. They shared this with my surgeon and she looked the song up before she came back the next day, and she thought it was great. She has young children as well and also enjoys Veggie Tales. I love how personable and intentional she was.

Darek spent as much time as possible with me, during visiting hours. He worked and I rested. He also made sure the kids were able to come spend time with me, even if it meant eating dinner and doing homework. Being together as a family was most important, and I know it helped me heal faster than expected. I was initially told I would be in the hospital for five days, but I was discharged after three and a half days. My body responded quickly to healing, even with my depleted immune system.

Back to the gross tube… I’ll be brief on this. It was a NG tube that works like a vacuum to keep the stomach empty. I was fortunate to eat ice chips, and only ice chips until that tube could be removed. I WAS SO HUNGRY! They have to ensure that nothing is backing up into the stomach from the intestines, and my digestive system knew just what to do to get into proper working order. Two and a half days with that and I was able to have it removed. All 49 inches of it!! Gross! Honestly, the worst part was that it irritated my throat and nose. The pain I had from that was actually greater than any abdominal pain.

I was moved to a corner room on the 8th floor with a great view of Minneapolis. It was nice to have the city lights to look at when I had a difficult time sleeping.

This was a bump in the road for sure. A BIG bump. Like the speed bump that is actually a piece of concrete curb. Only double that. But really,

There is a silver lining!

My surgeon consulted with my oncologist and delivered the best news! I do not have to complete my final infusion!! It just doesn’t make sense to try and fit that in 4 weeks after I heal from this surgery. So, there you have it!

GOODBYE, BRUNO!

At the end of the day, I know that I had to endure that pain. If I had ignored the pain (which was impossible) or if God had numbed the pain as I pleaded, it would have killed me. God was protecting me from something far worse. I could not see that in the moment, as my mind did wander and wonder if this was it. BUT, I knew it was not going to be the end of my story because I just could not see how enduring 6 months of chemo, and a liver resection could end in a fluke, random situation like this. Where is the HOPE in that? I know I have more to share with the world and I will continue to trust God even when it is difficult and does not make sense.

Darek and the kids work very hard on decorating for Christmas while I was in the hospital. That is typically something we do the weekend after Thanksgiving and they blessed me by having a lot of the decorations in place when I came home.

I realize that this is very long, but I cannot end without thanking our community of supporters for all of the love shown to our family. The messages, meals, visits, care for our kiddos, and so much more, truly mean the world to us. You are each a gift! Once again, the best I can say is:

THANK YOU!

We are Thankful, Grateful, & truly Blessed!