HOPE is a verb
Yesterday was HARD!
Round 8 began infusing yesterday morning, and the nausea kicked in almost instantly. I have not had this response in such a strong way up to this point but here we are. Prior to the infusion I met with a Nurse Practitioner to go over blood work and discuss any symptoms, etc. He is pretty candid in his approach and he explained that the chemo compounds in the body with each infusion, so I should expect the side effects to get worse with each infusion. I guess I did know this from the beginning, but was hopeful I would be the exception and have minimal side effects despite the norm. That being said, here we are. I took anti-nausea meds for the first time at home during the day yesterday, and again last night.
I noticed a few weeks ago that my hair has started thinning. Initially I thought it was post-surgery hair loss, as I had that happen the first time I had surgery. He explained that it is from the chemo, even though the regimen I am on typically doesn’t cause hair loss. Well - Darn it! (Insert my woe-is-me moment here.) We are almost all aware by this point that I have been the super special patient, with the unique inability to handle the full extent of poison that is chemotherapy. Is that good? Bad? I am unsure but I do know that I am anxiously looking forward to finishing this course!
As I write today I am covered in healing scripture! My mom quilted a blanket for me and wrote Bible references of healing scripture throughout the quilt. I was covered with this at my first infusion, and I am thankful I can continue to use this cozy blanket each time I need the covering of scripture that I feel too tired to search for on my own.
I am incredibly thankful for healing scripture. I know that complete healing is manifesting in my life as we speak.
A week ago Friday, Makaiya, had her tonsils and adenoids removed. She was very excited to have this procedure primarily so her siblings would want to have sleepovers with her again because she won’t wake them with her snoring. I did try to prepare her for the recovery process without scaring her, but until you are in the thick of it you just cannot know exactly how it will go. We waited as long as we could to have this surgery in hopes that she would “outgrow” the issues she was having, but as she grew, so did her tonsils and adenoids. The surgery was quick and successful! Praise God! The recovery was a rollercoaster of being both painful and challenging for her. She returned to school yesterday and will be able to run and play again by the end of the week!! The nights of interrupted sleep were not fun for any of us, but it offered a sweet time of prayer and loving care for Makaiya. I can only imagine that they way I feel about wanting to take the pain from and for my child, is exponentially greater from God. The way He deeply loves us and cares about us, down to the smallest cell in our bodies, blows my mind!
Here is where HOPE comes in to play…
I recently attended a ladies event at my church and we had an incredible guest speaker. She talked about hope, and specifically how the hope we have in God is a verb because
God’s HOPE is ALIVE!
Biblical hope is not based on optimism, rather it is based on a person. Pursuegod.org, states that “In Hebrew, “hope” isn’t just a pie-in-the-sky dream of what may be. It’s about real anticipation for something better, something you truly believe is coming. That’s why Isaiah said in Isaiah 8:17 that he was waiting with anticipation for God to show himself again, for he had hidden himself from Israel because of their consistent sinfulness. Isaiah’s only hope during those dark days was the hope of God himself.”
“In almost every case, whether somebody bounces back or not has to do with one question: “Does that person have hope?” Hope looks at what can be instead of what is. Hope looks at the future rather than just the past. Hope believes in future possibility rather than resigning to current reality. People bounce back when they have HOPE.”
This past Friday the kids and I took a short road trip to visit my parents in Iowa. On our way down we stopped by the Fish Sunflower Fields in Albert Lea / Manchester, MN. This particular location is owned by long-time family friends of ours which made for an extra special visit. We planned to stop by and take a few pictures, then head to Iowa before the crowds of people started arriving. Little did we know the immense JOY that we would experience among the fields of happy flowers! We stayed for TWO HOURS! Yes, I did have to “get my words out” when the homeowners arrived, but the kids truly loved every minute of being in the fields, hidden beneath the towering Sunflowers, checking off the list of strategically placed “scavenger hunt” items. This year this location held a special place in the hearts of people affected by cancer. They planted a field honoring lives lost to cancer, a field honoring those currently in the battle with cancer, and a field celebrating lives cured from cancer. I am not sure I have met a person who has not been impacted by cancer. My grandmother died from Lung cancer when I was a teenager. My aunt has been cured from Bladder cancer, and as you know I am in the process of being fully cured from Colon cancer. This simple concept of planting sunflowers to bring JOY was a tremendous blessing to me as I am sure it was to so many others!
Live life with HOPE - Great anticipation of what is to come!
Spread JOY - The God kind of Joy!
