Down to a Handful
You read that right! It still feels like a lot, and it is a bit daunting, however I am down to 5 more infusions. WooHoo! The end is in sight and I will press on toward this finish line. I know and trust that where God guides, he will provide. That promise has never returned void in my life and I know that He has great plans in store for each of us.
Full transparency - this was a tough round for me. I am incredibly grateful that I no longer need the Oxaliplatin with the myriad of side effect that come with it, however I have been more nauseous this time around. Yes, I do have plenty of anti-nausea meds but I am desperately trying to avoid taking them because they also have unpleasant side effects. Funny, right? That is the nature of medicine. One prescription leads to another and another and another to counteract the side effects. So, here I am working through the nausea with ginger tea, Mo Better Belly, and a lot of small meals throughout each day.
“Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full - pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”
I may sound like a broken record, but we have been abundantly blessed by our community and are grateful for each person who has gone out of their way to care for our family. It is our sincere prayer that each person who has blessed our family would also receive abundant blessings in return.
I recently read in one of my daily devotions that we need not forget the amazing ways God has come through for us in our lives. Like the Israelites, we too easily forget how God has provided and protected us in the past because we focus on our current circumstances. To quote Susie Larson, “We zero in on our current lack, inconvenience, hardship, or discomfort. Yet we are made for more… He gives us strategies to navigate difficult seasons, but He never wants us to embrace a scarcity mindset. He is a breakthrough God, and when the time is right, He will come through for us.”
It is especially important during our battles that we recall the many times God has come through for us in the past. If you don’t believe in God the way I do, I would still encourage you to evaluate how good things have happened in your life. Despite the difficulty and hardships, the heartache and challenges, things seem to have a way of working out. We are on this Earth for a short time, but I believe we are each here for a significant purpose. I choose to allow my trials to be used in a way that will encourage others.
I don’t always feel good. I am tired a lot. I am easily exhausted. I don’t want to eat most of the time (but don’t worry - I do). I often times feel like I’m not cutting it as a wife, mother, daughter, and friend. I am trying to keep things as “normal” as possible for our family. Everybody says I have a good excuse for all of these things, and all of the ways I feel like I am failing, but I don’t want to have an excuse anymore. I am just ready to be through this trial and move on. I do know that this is a season and it will get better.
I also know that this is not the case for everyone going through a trial in this life. Some challenges linger, and I pray that no matter the difficulty, your faith in God will grow. I hope you see His blessings in your life and you will choose Joy with each sunrise.
