Summer of Healing
Hooray! It’s Friday - Funday and the sun is shining. I am currently sitting outside on the deck, enjoying the warm sun, singing birds, children playing at the school in the distance, woodpeckers working on our trees, and the occasional wind chime when the light breeze moves through.
THIS!
This is the weather I love! I really needed this day, and this specific moment, to be perfectly honest. Yesterday was pretty cloudy for the bulk of the day and I found it difficult to find my motivation. I was feeling stuck in an emotional rut, and struggled mightily to get out of it. I read all of my morning devotions, but found my mind wandering and lost in thought So. Many. Times.
My current battle is definitely in my mind, and I am thankful for Darek who is quick to speak truth back into our circumstances and over my life. Yesterday, I was feeling very uncomfortable from this port in my chest, and also struggling through a caffeine withdrawal headache, which contributed to my less than pleasant demeanor. I should have just taken some Tylenol, but if you recall I mentioned previously that I err on the side of natural health. I honestly did not even think of it until I laid down to sleep and Darek suggested it. Did I take the Tylenol? Yes. Because, Sleep! And - I slept!
Today I had an appointment at the oncology clinic for a lab draw before I start my first infusion on Monday. Everything went fine with the labs. My platelets were borderline low but they weren’t overly concerned. They will keep an eye on it. We discussed what I could expect and I had an opportunity to walk through the infusion center to see what it would be like. The primary side effects are sensitivity to cold, and nausea. The bummer with the cold issue is that I drink a smoothie with frozen berries every day, and that is a primary source of protein for me. I will have to figure out a different plan for now. I was also prescribed anti-nausea medication to keep at home, so if I need it I am equipped. I was on my way to the pharmacy when a song that the worship team and pastor from our church recorded for me, came on my playlist. They not only personally recorded a song that means a LOT to me, but they proceeded to read scriptures of healing and health over me. I have it on my fight song playlist and will wear that one out, I am sure. I had to re-gain composure as I pulled in to the pharmacy!
I have struggled with the thoughts of whether or not I am making the right decision. It is SO hard, given my solid belief in natural health. I know I have addressed this before, but I am finding that this battle in my mind is a tool that satan is using to distract me and keep me from my positive outlook. I was caught in a state of frustration and confusion. I really did not know what to pray for or how to pray. Then I opened my phone and found this verse of the day from the YouVersion Bible app:
Romans 8:26
“In the same way the Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words.”
He Knows our need, and at the right time, intercedes on our behalf! The moment I read that, I was reassured once again that God’s timing is always perfect. I don’t have to understand everything. I just need to trust that His plan is greater than I could ever imagine, and everything is not just going to be “okay” but it is going to be GREAT!
My dear friends soothed my soul today. The reassurance that we are going to do this together and God’s plan hasn’t changed. The path we are taking may move in directions we don’t anticipate, but God’s plan still remains the same, with the same final result in complete and total healing. Darek has coined this summer, “The Summer of Healing!” So, here we gooooo!
Knowing that I have SO MANY people walking with me and with our family as we take this challenge head on, is incredibly humbling and comforting. My words fall short, but once again I say,
