Tender Christmas
It has been a couple of weeks and we are approaching the new year with anxious anticipation. Setting goals, making resolutions, and committing to a “Word of the year” are on the minds of millions of people! A great deal of money is spent on new exercise equipment and programs, as well as health coaches, trainers, and diet plans. Whatever your focus may be, I encourage you to keep your TOP focus on the most important things.
My Top Focus:
Intentionally spending time with God through devotions, books, prayer, and journaling.
Being present for my husband and children. Sometimes this means putting my phone away for a concentrated amount of time and engaging in conversation without interruption. Other times it means making a special treat, or simply preparing a nutritious, homemade meal.
Making time for friends, in any fashion. Grabbing a treat together, chatting at a sports event, taking a walk, or even (gasp) talking on the phone!
We had a very nice Christmas with family, and I heard it said perfectly as I was listening to the radio. This Christmas was a very tender Christmas for us for obvious reasons, and I am sure there are many families who fall into that same category. The Christmas season is filled with memories, and I know that emotions run high during this time of year because we have a concentrated focus on family. Even if you do not celebrate Christmas there are still days spent with family and loved ones, which lends the same heightened emotions as past memories are discussed and new memories are made. We ache for the loved ones we have had to let go. We hold tight to those still with us. And, for those of us currently in the battle, we hold on a little bit tighter. We feel deeper and we aim to love stronger, knowing how fragile life truly is. The gift of time proves greater than other gifts as we hold on to HOPE.
A couple of weeks ago I had my CT chest and MRI abdomen in lieu of the originally ordered PET scan. Everything went just fine the day of the scans, aside from the THREE needle sticks because they couldn’t get the IV in my arms. The vein in my left arm that is typically my “money” vein now has scar tissue in it, and it has decided to “roll” the past two times a nurse has tried to access it. Thankfully we were able to use a vein in my wrist and all was well for the contrast during the scans.
We met with an oncologist (Dr. K) at my clinic because my oncologist was on vacation for the week. He went through the scans, and after comparing with my previous surgical reports and other scans, he determined that there was nothing to be concerned about. I do have two spots on my liver that actually appeared on the CT scan I had when I was in the ER after Thanksgiving. The two spots in question are each on segments of my liver where I had surgery in August, so the collaborative thought is that they are showing scar tissue or other post surgical scarring. HOWEVER, due to my history I get to try again for a PET scan. This scan is scheduled for January 11th and I will meet with my oncologist on the 13th to discuss the findings.
I have seven days of blood thinner shots remaining. WOOHOO! On January 19th I have the follow up Ultrasound on my arm to make sure the clots have fully resolved. I have not had any pain or other issues in that respect for weeks.
The current ‘State of Steph’ is the feeling that I should be gaining strength faster than I am. I have to remind myself over and over that I had my abdomen cut open 3 times, and it has only been 4 weeks since the most recent incision (which was much larger than the others). Gah! I am also returning to my normal diet, which is also taking longer than I think it should. I think the theme here is patience. I know these things will come in time and there really is no rush, but it is in my nature to get things done. Finally, my port was removed and that incision is healing nicely. I have started experiencing more nerve pains as the nerve endings are repairing themselves along my many scars. This is normal, but not fun.
Christmas was only a few days ago and 2023 is two days away. If you also had a tender Christmas, please know that you are not alone. For those who have not had 2022 follow their plan, you are not alone. If your world changed in an instant and you struggle to see the good that is coming from those changes, you are not alone. Maybe your heart has broken or you simply feel less than. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
YOU ARE NEVER ALONE!
“Lean in and listen to what the Lord your God is saying to you. Listen for His whisper. Do you hear Him? Your presence with Him matters. He has things to say to you. He intends to display His power in your life. The Almighty God is with you.”
Let’s walk together from this tender Christmas into a hope-filled, healthy 2023!
Cheers!
